I aint the One

A friend of yours meets you or pings you after a really long time. Once the normal niceties like how have you been, where are you these days, how is the life etc is exchanged; invariably your friend will pop up this question. “Aur bata, kya chal raha hai, kuchh naya, koi ladki shadki”(So, tell me, what’s new, some new girl in your life)?
You chuckle and say, “nahi boss, koi nahi hai”(no my friend, there is no one as such). In response of which you get these really good reactions. Sample some of them:
# Haan yaar, hume kyun bataiyegaa, koi nahi, lage raho (Yeah, why would you tell me, no problems, carry on).
# Aisa kya be. Dost ko nahi batayega, samajhta hoon, badal jaatein hain sab (Why so? Won’t even share with a friend. Yeah, I understand, people change).
# Theek hai chhupe rustam, mat batawo. Sachai chhup nahi sakti lakh chhupane se, kabhi toh hume pata chal hi jaayega (Its ok, don’t tell. You can’t hide the truth for long; eventually I will come to know about it).
# Hehehehehehehehe. Tumko kya lagta hai, hume tumhari khabar nahi. Poori news hain apne paas ((A hearty laugh). What do you think; I don’t know anything about you? I have all the requisite info).
There might be variations to the above sample, but all of them revolve around one theme. That you have a girl and you are not disclosing it. At times, its gets really difficult to convince them, at times irritating, and at times you just laugh about it.
Given the fact that I live in a place were I know only a handful of people, and where my social acquaintance aint great enough to boast about, I cant even claim to have minus half a girl with me. And I emphasize on minus, simply because I just cant see from where I will get this girl, about whom I can tell my friends, in the way they wish me to.
Agreed that I know a few girls, agreed that they think of me as this nice happy-go-lucky guy, agreed that at times they think of me as this guy with shit load of attitude, arrogance and stuff, but ask any of them if they want to be my so called ladki shadki (girl), and you will get all kinds of interesting replies.
# Who, he?? Yukkkk
# He aint that kind of a guy.
# I never thought of him like that.
# He and a boyfriend material? What a joke?
# Ask him to get a life.
So, there I go. I can be this nice friend, I can be this guy with whom you can occasionally go out for coffee, I can be the one to take you to a couple of movies, I can be an acquaintance. But when it comes for the girls to upgrade me to “my guy” status, there aren’t enough takers. Chuck the enough part, their aint even a single one.
I hardly complain, simply because this isn’t in my hand. And at times, I even enjoy the fact that I aint bound to just one, that I aint off the shelf yet, that I am still single and ready to mingle.
Someone once told me, boss, if some girl says no to you, there has to be some problem with the girl, maybe because you would be simply too good for her. Nice consolation to fool yourself, only if momentarily.
Sadly-yet-pleasantly, I am single. Take it or leave it.